The Torch Has Been Passed...

So much has happened that I am unsure where to begin. Let us start at the top...shall we?


How about this?? What an AMAZING thing that occured on election day. I am not talking about the election of the first black prez (although this is HUGE...but more on that later), but the excitement, the energy, the courage and the resiliancy that was shown...truly something special. I arrived to vote at around 5pm. The line was SOOOOOO long. It was raining. It was cold. BUT NO ONE...NOT ONE PERSON got out of line. I was standing in front of an elderly(85ish..) white woman who was with her son. They had brought a chair for her to sit in so she would not have to stand the whole time. Her son kept pursuading her to sit and she would say that she was fine. About an hour into standing in line, her son asked her why she was being so stubborn and she turned to him and said, "Paul! This country is in the trouble that it is because we have all been sitting on our asses for way too long. I'm done sitting down! It's time to stand up and move toward what we believe in!!" WHEW!!! This brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat.

Those of us born after the Civil Rights Movement have no first hand experience as to what it was like for our parents and grandparents during that time. But as I stood in line, I could feel the energy of those who did not live to see that day. Martin Luther King, Jr. John F Kennedy. Robert Kennedy. Rosa Parks. Obama's grandmother. My own grandmother. I could hear someone humming "We Shall Overcome" somewhere in line, though I never did figure out who it was...if it was coming from a present person at all.

All I can say is that I am so proud to have been part of that historic day. I am just sorry that I could not share it with those I love so much.

4 days after election day, I turned 31. I am getting old (so everyone keeps telling me). I don't feel any different. I am not one of those women who freaks out everytime their birthday comes along. OH NO!! I AM ONE YEAR OLDER!! WRINKLES! GRAY HAIR! Um, no. I kind of like aging. Racks up experience points that I hope I will be able to trade in someday. The only thing that even remotely bothers me about getting older is the fact that people frown upon someone my age (what???) acting like the child that I am. I touch stuff in stores. I play with things. I still wear my hair in a ponytail (ok, a nub, but whatever). I HATE wearing dresses as that means I have to shave my legs, which I hate as well. Some people will not go to a toy store with me because I will embarrass them. I am a 31 year old child. Some people forget that playing keeps us young. Makes us feel alive. If more people played, there would be less crime and hate because those things don't exist when you are taking turns pushing each other on the swings.

I have been a knitting and crocheting MACHINE!!!! A MACHINE I TELL YOU!!!!
I am working on a beautiful shawl for my sister in law who keeps complaining that her office is the arctic tundra. No worries mate! Help is on the way!!

I am also working on Mr. Greenjeans, which I have renamed Mrs. Brownjeans because I am no conformist and, quite frankly, it sounds better. Will post pics of both tomorrow.

I am having dinner with my beautiful sister this evening then we are off to Stitch n bitch so I had better pretend to accomplish something other than plurking and blogging so my husband thinks I still deserve the $100 GIFT CERTIFICATE TO MY LYS that he gave me for my birthday.

My life is rough.

Le *sigh*

I leave you with this:

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Martin Luther King Jr

August 28th, 1963

100 Things

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Ran into a brick wall on a bike with no breaks

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Picture of my grandmother

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
Grind my teeth.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Anything except gangster rap and old country bluegrass

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
7:15 AM

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
A vacation

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Independence to come and go as I please

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
My camera and my collection of JFK memorabilia

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5′6

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOIA?

YES

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
YES

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
My children

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL?
.Sweet Honesty

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Brown hair/green eyes

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF GETTING PROPOSED TO?
Been there, done that

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Coffee

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Extra cheese

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Fried cheddar cheese balls

19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Spaghetti

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
EW

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
A Cabbage Patch Doll

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
I hate everyone right at this moment

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
Yes

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Levis

25. WHAT DID YOU DO YESTERDAY?
Knit, crocheted and sewed

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Yup!

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
One puppy, two kitties

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
It’d be hard not to if it was true love..

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Tell them.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
31

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Brunettes

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN
My mommy

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?

People who chew with their mouth open

37. FIRST JOB?
Intern at Dep

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
No

39. FIRST VACATION YOU EVER TOOK?
Canada

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE DOING THIS?
Crying to my husband about my shitty day

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Yes

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My kids curly hair

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
No

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
A gift certificate to my LYS

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
Have 3....NO MORE

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Not anymore

48. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CUSS WORD?
I like to use them all equally....but fuck comes out alot

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Pantene

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Eh, it’s ok.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Turkey

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Who's judging?

53. WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASING CD ON YOUR SHELF?
Shania Twain

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes

55. FAVORITE FLAVOR OF GUM?
juicy Fruit.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Not so much.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
I cry

58. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
In my house.

59. WHAT KIND OF PANTS ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?
Jammie pants!

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Ask my mother

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
25

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID?
Barney wasn’t around when I was a kid.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Entirely too often.

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
Both

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
A down to earth, intelligent human being with a heart and a sense of humor.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Any variation of my name.

67. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER?
Van Morrison, Christopher Cross.

68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW

Brothers And Sisters

69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT/SAT SCORE?
1380

70. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Vanilla

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
Uhh… yes…

72. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
1996

73. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO #64?
No, and I really don’t care.

74. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR?
120

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Why not.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING To

My stomach growl

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Wine

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Mom

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Eyes

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?

Sailing by Christopher Cross

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Republicans

82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR?
November

83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN?
Scorpio

84. IF YOU COULD DATE ANY CELEB WHICH WOULD IT BE?
Halle Berry (Yes, I'm straight).

85. WHAT IS YOUR NATURAL HAIR COLOR?
Reeeeeeally dark brown (not black)

86. EYE COLOR?
Reeeeeeally dark brown

87. SHOE SIZE?
11

88. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA?
You betcha

89. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTURANT?
Captain D's.

90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
No.

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
Noggin

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Thanksgiving

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
Not well

94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
Liberal Democrat.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Hugs

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
smokes.

98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE?
An overpriced, gas hogging one.

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Sold

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE:
Chaotic.

His bit*h? Um, I don't think so

It's Monday. I hate Mondays. The reason I hate Mondays is because I always let myself down. I always say that I am going to start this week on a positive note and accomplish everything that I set out to do. I even wrote a to-do list this morning:

1) Finish and put away laundry
2) Call in and pick up RXs
3) Pick up garbage out front (thanks to a neighborhood dog)
4) Clean all 3 bathrooms
5) Put Kota's clothes away (even at 10, she thinks everything fits in her underwear drawer)
6) Write this here blog

So far, as of 1:10 pm, I have put the whites in the dryer, driven PASSED the pharmacy AND the bank, put the dirty clothes on the floor of 2 of the 3 bathrooms and shut the door to Kota's room to avoid looking at the mess. BUT, I have begun to write this blog...but who knows when I will finish it.

Something is on my mind these days that I would like to share will all of you. Recently, my husband and I attended a fundraising function here in Charleston with some of his friends from work. One "gentleman" decided that he needed me to admit that I was my husband's bit*h. Now, anyone who knows me is probably rolling on the floor in a puddle of their own urine laughing till they cry at this thought. I am no one's anything. EVER. Especially that. BUT, I am extremely dedicated to my husband and his needs. I make is coffee in the morning for work (I drink some of it too), I pack his lunch, I do his laundry, I make his favorite dinners. Does that make me his bit*h? No. That makes me a loving and caring stay at home mommy and wife who's husband works two jobs and is too tired to deal with the everyday meanderings of this household. My husband is forever telling me how much he appreciates everything that I do and that I don't really need to do it. I say to him that while I do not leave the house to work, it is MY JOB to make sure that this household runs as smoothly as possibly with 3 children, a very naughty dog, and him working most of the time. I just wonder why so many people still have that "June Cleaver" mind-set that if a wife takes care of her husband and children the way that I do, that means that that is all that they are...nothing else. We all should be thankful that there are still marriages that exist this way.

Those of you who are ready to call Gloria Steinham on me and have my WOMAN card revoked please take note: MY HUSBAND WILL DO ANYTHING THAT I ASK HIM, INCLUDING RUB MY FEET AFTER HE GETS HOME FROM WORKING TWO JOBS.

Any Ideas??

It is beautiful day here in Charleston. Sun is shining. Sky is blue. Air is chilly, but not cold. Very fall-like. The smell of baby poo in the air....HUH??? Yes, that smell is one that I have been accustomed to since having children. BUT, the smell somewhat changes dramatically when the "product" is smeared all over flat paint walls. My son will not keep his diaper on during nap time and it NEVER FAILS that he must clear his system during this time. Why? I ask you. I have tried putting big boy panties on him over his diaper. Nope. I have tried getting him fully dressed. Nope. I have tried putting sleeper jammies on him (you know, complete with zipper and snap). Nope..except in this case, he had the jammies on when I got him up (yeah!!!) but had somehow taken the diaper off from under the jammies so I was left with an even more interesting mess. I will spare you the details of what happens after the diaper comes off, but please, if you have any suggestions, make haste and let me know. The walls are stripped to the wood. We need help. FAST.

On a cleaner, and better smelling, note, my husband and I have been invited to a United Way fundraiser this evening complete with eats and drinks. Should be lots of fun. I had to find a bratsitter, I mean babysitter, for the evening. SO, I asked my sister. The kids LOVE their Aunt Katie. She's fun. She lets them crawl on her and beat her up. She makes funny faces. She's the BEST!!!She also wanted to know how much I was going to pay her. (If you know my children, you will understand why). Since funds are limited, I offered to make her a cake. Since she does that for a living, that did not go over well. I asked her price. And this is the reponse I got...and I quote "HOMEMADE peanut butter cookies and HOMEMADE Russian Teacakes, no nuts. They better be homemade, I WILL know the difference." Do you KNOW what a pain in the ass these 2 kinds of cookies are???? BOTH have to be made ahead of time, chilled, then rolled into balls. I don't roll
balls, just ask my husband. (He-he). I don't have the time, strength or stamina to stand at my counter and roll 3 trillion little balls THEN roll them in sugar and powdered sugar. Um, no. Not gonna happen. I am STANDING UP TO THIS NONSENSE!!! WHO WAS I IN A FORMER LIFE....HITLER????? WHY CAN'T I CATCH A BREAK??? BABY POO. ROLLED BALLS. I AM UP TO MY EARS IN BULLSHIT!!!

Sorry, got a little upset. I am off to put on my girl face and get ready to go meet my husband for some adult, wine enjoying fun....and roll 3 trillion balls....

50 Questions

Thought it would be fun for y'all to learn a little bit about me so...here goes nothing!!

50 questions to pass the time

1. Are you wearing a hat? No

2. Bottled water: yes or no? Prefered

3. Do you have a crush on someone right now? Yes

4. What kind of laptop do you have? Cheap one

5. Do you prefer writing in pen or pencil? Pen

6. Who was the last text message in your phone from? My mother =(

7. What’s your favorite season? Fall

8. Does your best friend have a boyfriend or girlfriend? No, he has a wife

9. Do you like them? I should hope so

10. Favorite radio station? 101.7

11. Type your name into Google. What’s the first link that pops up? A bunch of letters

12. What’s your favorite song at the moment? Rock a bye baby

13. Coke or Pepsi? Neither

14. Favorite subject in school? Law

15. Last concert? Charlie Daniels Band

16. Next concert? A free one

17. Last magazine you bought? Creative Knitting

18. Last book you read? Marley and Me

19. Do you prefer cats or dogs? Which ever doesn't piss on my carpet

20. Is there someone you want to punch right now? Yes

21. Favorite sports team? STEELERS BABY

22. State you most want to visit? ALASKA

23. Are you a MySpace addict? NO

24. When do you shower? EVERYDAY, SOMETIMES 2X

25. What’s your dream job? NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC PHOTOGRAPHER

26. What kind of car do you drive? TOWN AND COUNTRY, TAURUS

27. What word in the dictionary best describes you? BITCHY

28. What’s your blog address? UM, IF YOU ARE READING THIS......

29. Worst TV show at the moment? ANYTHING ON VH1 OR MTV

30. Are you a better talker or better listener? LISTENER

31. Do you care about who wins the election? YOU BETCHA

32. Who was the most popular kid in your 7th grade class? MARLEY

33. Are you afraid of ghosts? YES

34. Is there something lacking in your life right now? YES

35. What do you miss most about childhood? MY GRANDPARENTS

36. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? ONCE

37. How many kids do you want? THEY ONES I ALREADY HAVE, AND THATS PUSHING IT =)

38. Are you a good liar? NO

39. Can you cook? YES

40. Are you a cheapskate? THRIFTY

41. What would you do with a million dollars? BUY OODLES OF YARN....AND PAY OFF DEBT WITH WHAT WAS LEFT

42. Have you been to Disney World? NO

43. How much time do you spend online a week? TOO MUCH

44. Last time you went bowling? YEAR AGO

45. Hot or cold weather? COLD

46. How many pairs of shoes do you have? 15

47. Are you a shop-a-holic? ASK MY HUSBAND....

48. Where were you yesterday morning at 10:30? SLEEPING IN

49. Are you afraid of the dentist? IM AFRAID OF THE BILL

50. Were you bored or entertained by this survey? NEITHER

If you'd like to share some of your own answers...that would be awesome.

Leave a message....

Hello!

Emily would love to post a blog right now, but she is too busy bailing out Corporate America. After she is finished, she would be more than happy to explain why this is NOT a good thing...Please leave a message at the sound of her children crying because she told them she can not afford to send them to college.

Thank you.

On a more serious note....

Depression-

a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity

sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy

Those of you who know me know that I have suffered from depression for quite some time. I don't usually like to talk about it, especially in a forum where thousands (ok, a few) people may read it but I am hoping that this will help me in my recovery and hopefully get some positive feedback and hear some "success stories" that will help me understand that yes, I can recover from this.

I think that I have always suffered from depression in one form or another for most of my adult life. I remember during my later years in high school, my doctor put me on Zoloft. That was when all you had to do was tell someone you were sad sometimes and *POOF* they wrote you a script for a medicine that made you sleepy and feel like a zombie, but hey, you weren't depressed anymore....just slept 15 hours a day and woke with cotton mouth. It didn't take me long to stop taking that. Now, I take Cymbalta. I am not sure if it is helping or not. Like I keep telling those close to me, yes, the meds to help a little but they don't change my life situation...just make me look at it through foggier glasses. I saw a shrink for awhile, and I suppose that the conversation helped a bit (lonliness is a HUGE trigger for me) but he didn't really help me learn any coping skills or ways of dealing with my emotions.

So, I have decided that I am going to treat this "thing" my own way. Naturally. I found a GREAT website, ZenHabits, that makes SOOOO much sense to me. No drugs. No weird voodoo priest worshiping, just lessons on how to live your life better and easier. His first suggestion is to quit smoking. Now. I have been smoking for around 14 years. It has gotten me through alot. I am also asthmatic. Yes, I know. The two do not mix so please spare me the lectures. BUT, I am reasonable enough to know that smoking will kill me. My husband and I have talked about quitting since I got pregnant with my son and here I am, smoking while I type this. I think that I am in a good point in my life to quit. (I can NOT believe that I just said that...) I am looking at this whole zen thing as a fresh start. A SMOKE FREE start. I feel as though I need to accomplish something for myself...no one else. I think that quitting smoking is it. (Please pray for my husband while I am in the process of quitting...he is going to need all of the divine support he can muster). If anyone has any suggestions that may help in this process, please let me know BUT I refuse to take any meds to do it....they kill you too.

Well, enough of all that happy horse shit and on to something FUN to talk about...KNITTING!!!
I am working on a February Lady Sweater as a gift for someone.




I am not overly crazy about the yarn I chose to use, but it is all I had enough of as I am STILL on a husband-enforced yarn diet. No, dear, I am not mad, I'm just sayin.....






I am hoping to begin my Christmas knitting soon. In the process of looking for the perfect gifts for all of those whom I love enough to knit for.

In closing, I would just like to share a picture with you....




THIS is why I want to get better. Any ideas?